Ruach MeMalelah

A Good Place

Lately, I've been enjoying my daughter so much that I've been thinking that it would (also) be okay if she was it - if there were no more. I know that my husband - like most men - wants a lot of kids, and so do I, but this is kind of a liberating feeling. It's just very nice to have a content feeling, a feeling of, "this could be enough." Especially since because of infertility and other health issues, I know I may be limited.

My sister-in-law is happy with the three kids she has and isn't sure if she wants any more. In fact, she is pretty sure that right now she doesn't. She has her considerations - high day school tuition for 3 kids all born within 4 years; she recently lost a lot of weight and doesn't want to push herself back to sqare one. And she's totally fine with the idea of not adding any more to her family. She's also nearing that magic portal - age 35 - through which no woman feels completely safe having children (she certainly feels this way). Who know when I'll reach the end of my childbearing years, especially since it tends toward the early side in my family. If I were to stop by age 35, well, I may only end up with 3 or 4, at most! I intend to use all the time I have continuing to try. And each month it doesn't happen is still a disappointment. But if it doesn't work out, well, I know that my daughter will be enough. Not because she has to be or because I wish she would be, but because she already is.

posted by SS @ 12:54 PM