Mind Games
Today, my husband made an offer that was meant as a helpful suggestion. But as I felt myself react, I realized that I was not taking in that way. It wasn't about how he said it, or about what he said, but intrinsically, I felt that his offer was undermining to me. I felt that his implication was that I am not capable. He said, "I'm just trying to help you." And I said, "I know. I guess I resent that." So where I could just say, "sure, thanks," I know I would be resentful inside, and I don't really mean, "sure, thanks." So, I told him that I can't talk about it right now. But will I ever be able to talk about it? Will I ever be able to live my life in a less screwed-up way?
Ten
A meme I saw on someone else's blog, and I sometimes like to do these for a diversion... So, here it is:
Ten years ago, I was gearing up for my last year of university. I was in summer school, taking two courses: Twentieth Century Womens' Writing, and Science and Creativity. Both were tons of fun, and I really learned a lot.
Ten months ago, I was just finished nursing my middle daughter, and was about to find out I was pregnant with the little one.
Ten days ago, I was comforting my oldest daughter after she was scared at the Lag B'Omer bonfire (a huge piece of burning cardboard fell right near her, but she was looking the other way, so she was more frightened when the neighbor unexpectedly grabbed her away.)
Ten minutes ago, I was enjoying listening to Bon Jovi, and putting on deoderant
Ten seconds ago, I was counting back ten days.
Ten seconds from now, I'll be counting ahead.
Ten minutes from now, I'll be posting this to my blog.
Ten days from now, I'll be taking the baby for her two-month checkup.
Ten months from now, I'll be cleaning for Pesach and planning a first birthday party.
Ten years from now, I'll be out there, selling my books.
That was fun!
